Book Review: Hogwild’s “You’re as Sweet as 3.14159265”

When I looked in my inbox weeks ago and saw the subject line, “Hello fellow Healthy Eater Christine,” I knew I was in for a treat. Now, most of my e-mail subject lines consist of “Miss! My thesis statement is bad!” or, “Prof G Proofread my Draft,” so my eye was immediately drawn in and my finger moved the mouse gently to the “open” icon. As many of you know, I’m a Fratire enthusiast (and currently researching the topic for my M.A) so when I was asked to review Hogwild’s new book I was both flattered and excited. For those of you who don’t know him,Hogwild is a stand-up comedian who offers the most helpful and hilarious dating advice.

As someone who spends a lot of time reading for my classes and for my students, “3.14” provided me with a relaxing oasis of hilarity that is real, raw, and true. If you’ve ever THOUGHT it, Hogwild has most likely written it in his new book. Relationship truths such as, “A Woman’s Fake Orgasm sounds exactly like a Man’s Fake Listening: “Oh.Oh. That’s good. Uh-huh. Wow. Uh-huh,” and “Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Picture, you REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job and pose in front of your cubicle,” deliver a certain amount of snark and silliness in one balanced equation. FYI: we haven’t even gotten to the meat of the text yet! So if you’re already laughing, make sure your bladder is empty as we progress…

I read through the thoughts of how to properly name your daughter so she doesn’t become a stripper, (Let’s watch Toyota Corrola shake it?) and what guys REALLY think about that butterfly tattoo on your ankle, I was most amused by the question from a Hogwild advisee, “Can you explain women to me?” Ho offers a cut and dry distinction between how ladies want a good listener, and how men never say, “That girl can listen her ASS off!” He’s got a point. I know that my nine year partnership is based on his good listening skills! I tell him what to do–he listens and does it. Success. Girls don’t need to listen–we just want to make YOU listen (or at least pretend that you are–after all listening on the date means listening in the bedroom–and that’s where you want to be, right?)

For the wide age range that visits my site, I’ll just say that the sex tips and the obliviousness of both women and men in the intercourse department are both hilarious and real. Throughout my read, I found myself saying, “Wow…we ask these same questions–and have these very same thoughts (Not to mention the concept of hate as a form of Female Solidarity! Yeah, we all hate that bitch in Cubicle 22 and enjoy hating together). But what is different about Hog is the genre of the writing and the woman’s voice he includes.

He might be answering questions from men stating, “How can I get with a woman?” but his answers and notes always echo a tone of respect mixed in with the Fratire humor we have come to know and love from writers of the genre. Hit mention of the “stupid test”  lets the male readers in on the fact that we women always have the upper hand despite the raunchy humor he includes in his responses. Balance is key, he suggests, in relationships, but Hog also manages to balance the bromance and romance. As a feminist who also loves Fratire, it’s well-done. He says above all, “make your girlfriend respect you by doing the things that gain her respect. Be courageous and bold. Treat her kindly. Be a leader. Take care of your family,” which unlike other writers gives some advocacy to the lady, but also speaks the truth. Afterall, if we respect you, and you treat us with the care and compassion we deserve, we’re most likely going to let you get a little freaky when no one else is around. (Which may or may not involve French toast…I hope you’re intrigued…)

So, are you a guy who realized that he needs to step up the game? A woman who is sick of the sugarcoated dating advice ala Dr. Drew? A graduate student who hasn’t read a fun book since the dawn of your dissertation? Never fear: Hogwild’s e-book is currently avaliable on Amazon and can be read on your mobile devices for on the go giggles and sarcastic realism. Want some Hogwild in 40 character doses too? Follow him on Twitter too, he follows back and engages with readers on the regular, which not only makes him a hilarious writer and comedian, but also makes him a down to earth guy who is a pleasure to talk to.

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